Sunday, 24 August 2014

RESTARTING ALL OVER | 2. Broken fragments of love

 I was in this beautiful relation which had started in mid 2011, person loved me and I was sure as this must be "soul mate" kind of love for life. Though it was long distance, it wasn't a cake walk, we had fair share of ups and downs but we kept our faith strong to hold each other and not let things go out of our control. I still value our togetherness, time we spent. Regret the ugly fall out but may be it was for the best.

 I broke up just a month prior leaving Mumbai so obviously it was haunting me even when I came home, 3 years of long distance relation was over in bitterness and now I was in a same city as my beloved ex. Things had changed and I could not go back to amend because I was hurt enough, time and again. I decided not to have any contacts but when we are in love its not as easy to let go things in life, letting my best friend and love go at the same time was taking toll on me and it gradually took me to depression. I always thought I was a strong person but this phase was just getting nasty as each moment passed by and my home coming got darker.

I would not want to talk in detail with due respect to the other person, I hold no grudges and enemity to what went and what typically went wrong but certainly this relationship molded me to stronger me. It did not work out for good or for worse but I am okay now. When I just say that I am okay, trust me people! this was probably the worst break up I ever had, emotionally and psychologically, time is the healer and one should not feel hope less. Life turns around but it will take its own time. Two of my very close friends  helped me sail it through this saga, even though I was broken and had bruises it took no time to heal.

P.s : Thanks Anirudh and Neha for being there <3

RESTARTING ALL OVER | 1. Life without a best friend

Restarts are always tough, is it? I don't know, to be honest I am trying to be out of my qualms and just take this change slowly. Its been 8 months since I am came back home clearly looking for a new beginning and their is a lot that has happened since then. During this time, I was away gathering myself, spending time with my family, dealing with an illness and most of all understanding my life. So to sum up how did these last months pass by? I thought I would look back while i write, today

1. Life without a best friend

When I had just arrived, I felt blurry and I was restless most of the time all I wanted to do was to get surrounded by people and when ever their was a silence, I would plunge into sadness. I had left my friends behind and these were some people whom I loved whole heartedly but thats how life is right? it pushes you to unimagined corners. One of the saddest moment was to let go few people as I was done dragging them along, my high school best friend had soaked up in his career and this time around their was no time for me, I felt like an outsider, I waited and in response I had his excuses and even a text sms "Dude! We are not soul mates.." that was last text and calling it all quits, it was hurting but I had to make a choice and all I had to do was to let it go. I have had few break ups but bond that we share with our best friends is beyond anybody's comprehension and thats clearly why they are called best friends. So now, I was without a best friend.